Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Slept pretty well last night, all things considered.  No nightmares which involve punching people in the face so my shoulder made it through unscathed.  The joint still feels pretty stiff and it still protests every now and then when I move it in certain directions, but it's better than it was four weeks ago.  Given the stories I've heard about physiotherapy, I don't know if I'm looking forward to it or not.  It's a necessary evil, I guess.

About to step out for work.  More later...

Monday, October 4, 2010

Perspectives

Apologies for not writing in a while.  My right arm is still incapacitated and typing is very slow going so any entry I make has to be worth it.  Not that this entry holds any subtle insight into man's search for meaning (a la Viktor Frankl).  Just thought it was about time to update things a bit, let folks know I'm still alive.

Being (temporarily) handicapped is an experience both frustrating and humbling.  On the one hand I just want to rip this sling off and be done with it.  The only thing worse than trying to sleep with your arm pinned to your side is tring to get behind the wheel.  The act of driving itself is no problem, it's getting situated, adjusted, comfortable.  I'm a big guy and the act of settling myself in the driver's seat behind the steering wheel requires the use of muscles and ligaments I had until now taken for granted.  Try adjusting the air conditioning with you left arm from the driver's seat.  I have to wait until I get to a light to do that.  On the highway, I have to pull over onto the shoulder or risk the very dangerous possibility of veering into the ditch.

On the other hand, this experience has given me a tiny glimpse into the lives of people with real disabilities.  I will get to take this sling off someday (next week) but there are people who have lost limbs or senses.  I was in the car with my mother not long after my injury and we saw a young man making his way along the sidewalk with silver crutches, his caregiver walking slowly beside him.  Here was a man at severe disadvantage, who had been born that way.  Not for him the elegant gait of a human being; his was more a lurching, hitching progress.  Here was a man who faces real challenges, everyday.  He can't look forward to the day when he can set his crutches aside.  His legs will never be emancipated from the braces he wears.  What about the blind or the deaf?  And I complain about the hassle of driving, washing dishes, putting on socks....

As far as "the writing" goes, I have had to lay that aside for the time being.  As much as I have to write (for I'm feeling creative again) I cannot do it one-handed.  It has to wait for now.  My brain's been spinning away on the subject of Colbrit Niemeier (one of the main characters in Sunder): his childhood, adulthood, fears, strengths, good decisions and bad--all the colourful threads that make up the tapestry of a human life, if you'll forgive the cliche.  Charlotte Hudson, too, that broken, shattered, merciless woman who for so long had been an enigmatic shade in my thoughts, has begun to press her story into my hands.  When the sling comes off, I'm going to spend my evenings writing down all the ideas that have been flocking inside my skull.

Another three days until I find out how much longer I have to wear this sling...three more days!  Maybe I can get back to work sooner rather than later.